Saturday, June 25, 2011

Got Training? Thank Your Wife! pt 2

If you’re really fortunate, you may have the kind of wife that my student Panday is blessed to have. No, he’s not the student I referenced earlier, but I’m still going to talk about him for a minute. Panday is our role-model not only in the arena of Combat Shooting, but also as the quintessential husband and father. Sort of like the late Michael Landon’s character on Little House on the Prairie, only he routinely apprehends armed robbers and dislodges barricaded gunmen (you thought your job was stressful?)

If Panday befriends you, you will inevitably come to know his family, and you will realize he could not be who he is without the unconditional support of “Mrs. Panday”.

I’m referring to the kind of true Partner who understands that your training in Martial Arts is as much for your family as it is for you. Does your training affect only YOU? Of course not. Your training makes you a better person in every aspect of your life. If you have found a Path that strengthens you mentally and physically, hones your discipline, refines your character, and globally enriches your life on every level – is it worth devoting time to? Is it worth a few sacrifices in other, more permeable areas of your life?

If you answered those questions in the affirmative, and you have the full support of those closest to you, then the difficult Path to Mastery has been made a lot easier for you. Count your blessings.

Now finally to the student I referred to in the beginning. After training seriously for just under a year, he recently suffered an unfortunate medical setback and was forced to take a leave from his job and also from several other activities that he shared with his family. I saw him just after Father’s Day for what I assumed would be the last time before a necessary hiatus.

He related to me a very strange “argument” that he had with his wife the day before. Although physically able, he was prepared to suspend his training indefinitely while his personal setback worked out. After all he reasoned, his wife would be working extra hours to make up the difference in the family’s expenses. Here’s where the argument came into play. His wife would hear nothing of it! In his words: “She told me that no matter what, these lessons and being a part of the group have had such a strong positive influence on me, she would not allow me to stop under any circumstances and would do anything in her power to help me continue – especially now.”

Another student who just happened to be privy to the conversation offered this timeless wisdom “Dude, while you’re budgeting for your training, you better also be budgeting weekly for flowers!”

I wholeheartedly concur.


alla said...

This story brought Ayn Rand to mind and her theory of selfishness. In short, she argues to be selfish, as that is the only way one will be selfless to others. For example, if I see you drop a dollar and give it back to you, I did not do it because my concern was truly you, but because it made me feel good to give you the dollar back. If I had kept the dollar, eventually quilt would take over me. Therefore, I acted selfishly by giving you back the dollar in order to ensure that I will feel good about myself. In turn, my selfish act has benefited you, as you redeemed your lost property. Guro, your student's wife knows that the happier her husband is, the happier she will be. It is "HER SELF-ishness" that is the most "self-less" gift to her husband. Truly wonderful.

guro jeff davidson said...

Yes. Even more important, that was damn good coffee!