Kuya Doug, Guro Jun, Tuhon Gaje, Tito Jun in a moment of LevityThis is taken from an old thread on the Pitbull Discussion forum (private!)
YOU MUST BE AN FMA PRACTITIONER WHEN:
from Kuya Doug:
* Every girlfriend, wife, pillow, friends become a dummy to try techniques that you learned from class.
* Sweats and club t shirts become your regular attire from training to everyday casual wear ( like you never even change clothes cause it's all you wear)
* Wrestling shoes aren't for wrestling class or training.
* Equipment made for other sports become protective gear for sparring
( soccer shin guards as arm protectors, boxing headgear with a metal grate or fencing mask for head protection, "hockey" gloves ,)
* Vertical beer can holders , baseball bags, architect plan holders become stick bags.
* You find yourself carrying multiple knives and cammos or tactical clothing is ok to wear indoors as well as to Sunday church .
* Your kids hit each other constantly with sticks or training knives that seem readily found around the house.
* You walk around with a pen in pakal or sak sak grip
* You flip your keys as though you were flipping a balisong
* You like to roll up news papers or magazines to wave it around or use it like a stick
* You always look around the environment looking for possible weapons
* You get [aroused] when you see knives , swords or weapons
* You make sound effects when you hit things
* You constantly move your fingers in a sinalwai fashion or as if you were fighting when no one is looking around
* You find yourself talking with an accent sounding like your instructors.
from Me:
1) While your co-workers are busy surfing the net for porn, you're surfing for pics of knife wounds.
2) While your friends are spending their hard earned $ on the latest electronics gadgets and cell phones, you're buying expensive knives.
3) You pay $$$$ out of your pocket to go to the Philippines to be Tuhon's own bitch for 2 weeks.
4) Instead of taking the Victoria's secret catalog into the bathroom, you take the Cold Steel Special Projects Catalog (see #1)
5) Before going out for a night on the town, you spend an hour acessorising your carry knives to fit your wardrobe. ("Honey, is this kerambit too dressy?")
6) You practice your Tri-V, sinawali, etc. with the axe handles at the Home Depot.
7) You select your casual attire based on multiple pockets to conceal your knives (See #5)
8) And finally, you know you must be an FMA practitioner when some guy at work pisses you off, and you jab him in the neck with your balisong, then after breaking it off, you sweep him and decapitate him with your Force-Recon ginunting! (I'll write more when this annoying facial tic stops flaring - plus I gotta call my lawyer)
4 comments:
You know when you train in FMA when...
1. Your wife calls your instructor to find out how you are doing.
2. You get reprimanded from your wife for letting the kids watch you practice because she found them sparring with the kitchen knives this morning.
1. You never stand directly in front of someone when talking to them (always on an angle)
2. When you shake hands, your left hand goes to your hip as if to draw your daga.
3. You have a preferred stick/knife/bolo for different drills
4. You weapons have proper names
5. You have more gear bags than your wife has purses
* Your wife, parents and in-laws know the the proper name of your system and title of your teacher.
* Your significant other knows better than to schedule social events on class nights.
* Your pets are named after Kali techniques
- You use your baston to turn off the light switch
- You think a Kampilan is a suitable utensil to carve turkey
- You know Heaven Six does not refer to the finalists of the Hawaiian Bikini Contest
- You wish your boss would give you the choice - work weekends or defeat me in a duel
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